22 Collegiate Tidbits You Should Know Before Move-in Day

Zombies aren’t after you in college, but everything else is! Remember in Zombieland when Jesse Eisenberg went over his basic rules for fending off zombies? You know, like to limber up? Well, this article is going to be just like that, only a little less drool and dazed expressions all over.

Rather than zombies, I’ve compiled a cornucopia of helpful tips I’ve accumulated throughout my college experience. Read it and weep, college newbies, because life at college is just beginning.

  1. No one, in the history of existence, said, “Boy, I’m really glad I waited to cram the night before that exam!” It just doesn’t happen. That’s also not to say you should study weeks in advance. Just be conscious of how much time it will take you to prepare for an exam.
    • Is the material exceptionally difficult?
    • Is there a lot to memorize?
    • If your grandma called you on the phone right now and asked you about the topics on your exam, could you tell your grandma what she wanted to hear. Basically, if you don’t want to study for hours on end before a test, go to class.
  2. On that note…Don’t waste the money of the person who is paying for your college education. That may be you, with an infinite amount of loans, or it may be your parents, who are working full-time jobs for you to prepare for your future. Simply, attend class. For every class you skip, you waste hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. You went to college for a reason: to learn.
  3. Bring flip flops for communal showers in the dorms. That’s not only your hair sitting in the drain…
  4. Bicycles are a lifesaver. You’ll get around campus much faster. Want to bicycle all year long? Put snow tires on your bike and bundle up. Don’t worry, yours probably won’t be stolen like Pee Wee Herman’s was in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Although, it would be pretty incredible to have a movie made about your life.
  5. Dorm dining halls are what cause the freshman fifteen. Take it from me. I didn’t live in a dorm my freshman year, but I did my sophomore year. Sophomore year is when those pounds started to pack on. Eat your fruits and vegetables, kiddos! You’ll be glad you did. Oh, and there’s still hope. After the dorms come apartments. You can get those pounds off when french fries and an ice cream maker aren’t tempting you every day.
  6. Have a phone buddy. When you’re walking back to your room after a seemingly bothersome day, it’s always nice to have someone to talk to. Call up a friend, a parent, or simply a person who’s a good listener. Times get stressful, and sometimes you need to vent.
  7. Wear decent walking shoes. Moseying around on campus in high heeled boots may look attractive, but your feet will be screaming to the high heavens by the end of the day.
  8. Pick up one of those free lanyards they pass around everywhere during freshman orientation. Hooking it on door handles will keep your door open to the other residents in your hall.
  9. Do the readings for classes. Those pop quizzes won’t be as surprising and stressful if you do.
  10. Be a dork. It’s fun. You’ll look silly. But you’ll have a blast.
  11. Record your memories. Four years will go by fast. Don’t just have a diploma to show what you’ve done.
  12. Take a shower once in a while. Studying can wait for cleanliness.
  13. Forget about Tyra Banks. College isn’t America’s Next Top Model. Be modest in your attire, but you don’t have to fix yourself up with bountiful hair products and makeup every day for class.
  14. Keep a piggy bank in your room. All of those coins you forget about will add up throughout the year, leading to some extra spending cash for your summer vacation.
  15. College tuition robs you blind. So, get your money’s worth. Grab some bagels in the dining hall in the morning. When you’re running late to class the next day, you already have another meal without spending more meal credits.
  16. Showering at night means more time to sleep in the morning.
  17. Plan ahead. Go ahead, be a Boy Scout! Planning your college schedule for the next couple of semesters prevents freak out moments right before graduation. Hello diploma! Goodbye anxiety!
  18. Go for a walk around a residential neighborhood near campus. Watch an episode of Arrested Development. Explore the world of Tumblr. Bake a cake, just because, at your friend’s apartment. Basically, take a break. Take your mind off things once in a while.
  19. Don’t forget to say thank you. All of those people you meet? You may come across them again one day, and you may need a favor. They’ll remember how you treated them.
  20. Ask a million questions. There’s no such thing as a dumb question. Okay, maybe there is. But asking never hurt anyone.
  21. Laugh. It’ll make you feel better, and it’s a workout. Oh, look, two in one!
  22. Be a college student: have fun, learn a lot, smile once in a while.

This is merely the tip of the iceberg. To be safe, watch Zombieland for more tips. Who knows? That may be a zombie sitting behind you in statistics.

Related Posts

The following two tabs change content below.
Rebecca Jacobs

Rebecca Jacobs

Rebecca Jacobs is a sophomore at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, pursuing a News-Editorial Journalism degree. An avid bookworm, Rebecca reads all texts Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut when she’s not busy writing for The Black Sheep on campus. Back home, she spends a vast amount of time enjoying nature with loved ones.